A Change Of Heart
by JulieM
Summary: It’s almost little AJ’s fifth birthday. Events lead to Mac changing her mind, a week after the events of H & F part 1. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Title: A Change of Heart.

Spoliers: Hail and Farewell part 1 and the flashback portions of H&F part 2, but nothing else in that episode, onwards.

Because of the date discussed in this fic; Yeah Baby, too and any episode that makes reference to Harm and Mac's baby-deal.

Also, I've changed Sturgis a little, though don't go into his feelings too much. I couldn't stand what TPTB made him into, in the ninth season, so thought I'd change him so that he didn't have a big(-er than normal) stick up his six.

Summary: It's almost little AJ's fifth birthday. Events lead to Mac changing her mind, a week after the events of H& F part 1.

AN: So sorry that it's been so long since my last posting! All I can say is that life has been unbelievably hectic and terrible loss within the immedate family has made it much harder to express my creativity...Anyway, onto the story! Technically, we don't see the conversation about Mac's endometriosis until H&F part 2, but seeing as it is covered in flashbacks, I think we can assume it happened just after the end of H&F part 1, before anything else from part 2 occurred. This story takes place the week after the dining out, in particular just before Little AJ's fifth birthday. Let's say that this takes place the Friday following the Admiral's dining out, with Little AJ's birthday being the next day, on the Saturday. I'll try and get the next part up as soon as possible!

Disclaimer: This is done purely for fun, so please don't sue me. No copyright infringement is intended at all.

Rating: K+. This is safe for most. Rating just to be cautious.

OOOO

Part 1

Mac was running on autopilot that afternoon and didn't bother to knock before she entered Harm's office, to ask his opinion on the Becker court martial.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had company, Commander…"

She should have known. His blinds were closed and that usually meant that he didn't want to be disturbed.

What she didn't know was that he'd just neglected to open them, when he returned from Norfolk that morning. He'd had much bigger things on his mind.

"That's okay, Mac," he shook his head, dismissively, "I'm glad you stopped by. I wanted you to meet somebody…"

They both turned to look at the pretty little girl whose stacked up chairs were pulled up to his desk, so that she could lean on it while she drew a picture on some blank office paper.

"Mac, this is Bianca. Bianca, this is my partner, Colonel MacKenzie."

When the child fixed her gaze on Mac, she changed her opinion. This little girl wasn't just pretty, she was absolutely gorgeous. Her dark brown hair contrasted starkly with the light blue eyes whose color made Harm's seem almost dull in comparison. She thought she'd only ever seen eyes that color on dolls…and her eyelashes! Well, needless to say that Mac wished she herself was able to achieve those long, dark eyelashes with an eyelash curler and an expensive tube of designer mascara, every morning.

"It's nice to meet you, Bianca," Mac smiled at the girl, trying not to seem like she was staring. She was just so curious! Just who was this child and what was she doing spending time with Harm? Exactly whom was she to Harm?

There was little point in her not to staring at the child though, because Bianca was openly doing just that at her.

Mac contemplated just asking Harm, straight-out, but knew that she really didn't really have the right to be so nosy. Harm seemed to notice her curiosity.

"Uh, Bianca is the daughter of Petty Officer Monroe…You remember the case that Sturgis gave to me, this morning?"

Before Mac could nod, 'Yes,' Bianca spoke up, "Commander Rabb's going to find my Momma…"

As both of the officers could not help but stare at her, unable to speak, Bianca turned back to her picture. In her innocent mind, there was only one eventuality and a grown-up like Commander Rabb would be the best person to make sure that eventuality came about quickly.

Mac found her voice, first.

"I just wanted to run this past you, Harm," Mac continued, turning her attention to Harm, "It's the Becker court martial and I wanted to get your opinion on the best defense to go with…"

"If you leave it there, I can read it and get back to you before the end of the day," Harm asked, to which Mac nodded, satisfactorily.

"That's great, thanks," she told him, before turning to leave.

"Are we still riding to AJ's birthday party together?" Harm asked.

"Yeah," Mac turned back, adding, "if you don't mind bringing me back here for my car, later…"

"Not at all. I'm also bringing Coates back…She has things needing finished, before the weekend."

"Okay, I'll see you later, then."

"Okay, see you later."

They had chipped in together to get little AJ his birthday gift; a ride-on Thomas the Tank Engine train, completely with about a mile of track! They both knew that Bud and Harriet would probably be horrified to think about how much it had cost them, but this was a special birthday for their Godson and neither of them had been able to resist it when they saw it on display in Toys R Us. It was all boxed up in the trunk of Harm's SUV, which had considerably more space than Mac's Vette.

When Mac was gone, Harm tried to get his mind back on his work, but try as he might, he couldn't help but commiserate about how this should have been such a special day for Mac and himself, too. AJ's fifth birthday was a day that had such hopes pinned to it. But it would serve neither one of them to think about it, too much. There was no way to change what had happened, nobody to blame but fate and at the end of the day, she wouldn't be ready to consider any options until she'd had a chance to come to terms with what her doctor had told her. Harm knew it must all be incredibly raw, still.

"I want to cut my hair," Bianca suddenly announced, out of the blue, now standing next to him.

"But you've got lovely hair," Harm looked at her in assessment, "Why would you want to cut it?"

It was true, one of the first things he'd thought when Social Services had introduced him to Bianca was that one day he'd love to have a little girl with long hair, so that he could spend hours just brushing it. It was strange how such a bizarre thought had just jumped into his head, but there you go…

"I want it short," Bianca told, "Like Colonel MacKenzie's is, in that photo, on your bedside table…"

Oops, maybe he should have been more careful about letting her wander around his apartment. There was no knowing what she might let slip in front of everyone, later! He'd been busy getting her backpack ready at the time, when she was looking around his apartment, so he hadn't noticed where she'd wandered off to for a few minutes.

"Well, how about we just settle for braiding your hair for Little AJ's party, tonight?" Harm suggested, "We can think about cutting your hair when y….uh, another time, okay?"

He was careful not to make mention of the child's Mother, again. She was a thoughtful and strong little girl, but he knew that behind her strong façade, she had to be missing her.

Bianca conceded to this, so he buzzed through to Petty Officer Coates, who had offered her help when she found out that Bianca would be coming along to Little AJ's party, tonight.

"Petty Officer? If I could have your assistance for a few minutes?"

"I'm on my way, Sir…" came her reply.

Harm rummaged through the small, purple backpack they'd brought with them from home, extracting a little make-up-style zippered pouch.

"I think you should find everything you need in there," he told Jen, when she joined them and began sorting through the contents.

"My spritzing bottle isn't in there," Bianca informed her, "It's in the outside pocket of my backpack so it doesn't leak and get everything wet…"

'This little girl sure knows her way around her beauty products!' Harm joked, internally, 'She's going to be a handful, when she hits her teens…'

Then he sobered, remembering that they still didn't know if her Mother was alive or dead…or just who would be enjoying the company of Bianca, once she was in her teens.

Luckily, Bianca and Jen, now working on braiding Bianca's dark, silky hair into twin braids, didn't notice his sudden down-turn in mood.

OOOO


	2. Chapter 2

OOOO

Part 2

"You and the Colonel really shouldn't have spent so much on him, Sir," Bud admonished for the seventh time since Little AJ had opened the gift from his Godparents, "It really is too extravagant…"

Bud and Harm were on the floor, trying to put the track all together, while Harriet and Mac watched on.

"Nothing's too extravagant for our Godson," Harm told both he and Harriet, again, "and think about all of the peace and quiet you and Harriet will get while he's playing with it! You can change the track around into an infinite number of designs, so there are hundreds of hours of playtime before they begin to get bored of it!"

"You can even mute the sound effects and the five different types of music it plays," Mac added, knowing that Bud and Harriet would find that feature a godsend.

Finished, Harm got up, dusted himself off then helped Bud to stand. Once they set the little engine correctly on the track circuit, they called Little AJ over to try it out.

Bud helped AJ on and made sure he was secure and holding on tight, before he gave Harm the nod to press the start button on the control. The grin on the little boy's face was worth any amount of money, when the music began, the engine sound-effects started and the little engine gradually began to speed up.

"Look Mommy!" AJ cried, joyously, "I'm moving! Ooo! It's getting faster!"

All of the adults present had matching smiles on their faces to the ones on Bud, Harriet, Harm and Mac's faces, as they watched.

"Won't that be great to show all of your friends when they come around, tomorrow?" Harriet asked her son and he nodded, vigorously. He was going to become the most popular boy in his class!

Tonight was just a small celebration for friends and co-workers of the Roberts family. The children from AJ's class at school would be coming for a big party tomorrow. All of the adults contented themselves to sit back and watch the Robert's children as they took turns on AJ's new toy.

"You want to have a try, Bianca?" Harm asked, a short time later, not really sure if the little girl was a bit too old for such a thing.

She shook her head, hesitantly, climbing onto the seat of the picnic table, beside him. He helped her get settled, keeping an eye on her for the next half-an-hour as she watched Bud and Harriet's children play.

'No,' he decided, 'she's not too old for this sort of thing. She just feels a little out of place, that's all. And maybe she's missing her Mom, too…'

"Would you like a turn too, Sweetie?" Harriet asked Bianca, as she brought another round of soft-drinks to the table.

Bianca looked at Harriet, then at the toy train, before nodding, timorously.

"Come with me, then," Harriet smiled encouragingly as she held out her hand, "I'm sure Little AJ won't mind."

Indeed, Bud and Harriet's now-mild mannered little boy didn't mind at all and as Bianca took a turn, he showed her all the buttons on the front of the engine and what sound effects each of them made.

"She's such a pretty little thing," Harriet commented, as she watched the children interact, "How old did you say she was, Commander?"

"Nearly seven," Harm told her, as they were joined by Mac and Bud, "Just less than two years older than AJ. Social Services told me that they should have a place for her by Monday, but until then, Jen's kindly offered to let her stay with her and use Mattie's room."

"Do you know what has happened to her Mother yet, Commander?" Bud asked saddened by what he'd heard of the case, so far.

"No," Harm shook his head, "so far what we have suggests three possibilities; Foul play, desertion or intended sui…"

He cut off as Bianca dismounted the train and came running over to him.

"Did you see me?" she asked, excitedly, her blue eyes sparkling.

"Yeah, you were great!" Harm encouraged her, smoothing a hand fondly over her dark hair, "Why don't you go get back in line, so that you don't miss it when it's your turn to go again?"

Bianca ran back and took her place between AJ and Jimmy, on the grass.

"But even with just a one in three chance of the more favorable outcome," Harm continued telling his co-workers, "we can still hope."

"What a terrible shame," Sturgis voiced everyone's thoughts and there were several nods of agreement.

OOOO

"How about we go and watch AJ with his cake?" Harm suggested and Bianca nodded, holding her arms up to him.

Lifting her from the toy engine and into his arms, he set off to where all of the Roberts children had scampered, a few minutes before.

"There's no need for you to be shy around anyone here," he told her softly, striding the length of the Robert's back yard, "everyone wants to be your friend, I promise. I know they really like you, already."

Harm lowered her into a seat at the table beside Little AJ, then moving to stand behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders.

Bianca looked a little more self-assured now and only glanced back a couple of times, before settling down to join everyone in serenading the birthday boy as Harriet brought the lit cake out.

Mac couldn't help but smile and catch peeks at Harm and Bianca, every now and then.

Harm was so good with children, especially the vulnerable ones that needed extra help. She supposed that it came from being a vulnerable child himself, having no male role-model in his young life. He'd really gone on to do wonderful things with his life, despite his childhood, but he never forgot about where he came from, nor did he hesitate to step in when he saw a child in need…He was going to make a wonderful father one day…

Mac stopped herself when that thought popped into her head. Ever since their baby-deal, (five years ago, come tomorrow) she had never thought about anyone else being the father to her children. In her mind, his children had always been her children and vice versa. But that just wasn't possible, now and as much as it hurt, Mac knew she'd have to get used to the idea of him moving on and having children with someone else. She wasn't afraid to admit it now; she loved him and wanted him to go on and have a happy life filled with the love of a wife and biological children. And that meant that she could not be a part of that. She could never deny him anything that he truly wanted, so that meant stepping aside, as tough as that might be.

"What did you wish for, AJ?" Harriet spoke up, amongst the excited chatter around them, after he had blown out his candles.

"It's a secret!" AJ announced, "I can't tell you, or it won't come true…"

The adults just laughed, but Little AJ looked around him, picking out first his Godfather and then his Godmother, looking to see if his birthday wish had begun to take effect, yet.

He caught Mac glance at Harm, who was crouched down behind Bianca, saying something into her ear. As he continued watching, he saw Harm glance up, locking eyes with Mac, giving her a warm smile, which she returned, immediately.

'Good!' He thought, gleefully, 'It's working already.'

Little AJ was watching his Godmother so intently he didn't see Harm give Bianca a little nudge, before she leaned over to him.

"Happy Birthday, AJ!" she smiled, before planting a kiss on his cheek.

As she sat back, giggling, AJ turned three shades of bright red, although a big smile erupted upon his face. All of the adults laughed uproariously.

OOOO


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

"She's out like a light, Sir," Coates reported, on their way back to JAG Headquarters, so that Jen and Mac could get their cars.

"Good," Harm looked at the sleeping little angel in the back seat, through the rear-view mirror, "Let's see if I can get her home and upstairs without waking her up, shall we?"

Mac smiled as she looked around.

"Isn't she just a little doll, Ma'am?" Coates asked her, sweeping the child's bangs back to the side, out of her eyes.

"Her features are so incredibly delicate," Mac nodded.

"I can't imagine how anyone could ever leave their beautiful little girl of their own free will," Coates still had her eyes on the child and she didn't see the short, fleeting look of pain that crossed Mac's face at her comment.

Harm hadn't missed it, though and he immediately reached across for her hand, squeezing it consolingly in his.

She quickly shot a look back at him, to make sure he knew that she was alright. After all, Coates knew little about her past, so could not possibly appreciate how relevant her words were, not to just the little girl in the back with her, but to the woman in the front, who had once been in much the same position.

"She's got what have to be the bluest eyes I've ever seen," Coates continued, totally wrapped up in the beautiful child, "And the daintiest little nose…"

"She and AJ seemed to hit it off, tonight," Mac mentioned.

"Yeah, they did," Harm chuckled, adding, "We're going to have to make sure they stay in touch…"

Of course, they didn't know what would happen after the weekend, but Mac had no doubt that Harm would indeed keep close tabs on the child, until he knew that she would be okay.

Once they pulled up at Headquarters, Coates asked, "Are you sure you don't mind going ahead without me, Sir? I can come home and get Bianca into her bed myself…"

"No that's okay, Jen," Harm assured her, "I'm sure Bianca and I will manage fine."

"I should only be an hour or so, Sir," Coates assured him, "I'd just rather not have to come in over the weekend. There's coffee in the kitchen, feel free to help yourself and all of Bianca's belongings are in…"

"The wardrobe in Mattie's room," Harm finished off for her, "Don't worry we'll be fine…You fancy coming over for a cup of coffee, Mac?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Mac nodded, before turning back to Jen, "Don't work too hard, Petty Officer. It'll still all be there once you get in on Monday morning."

"I won't, Ma'am," Jen assured her, "It's just that if I don't leave it until then, I'm sure I'll enjoy my weekend much better!"

Mac nodded in understanding, adding, "Then just make sure you have a member of security walk you out to your car once you're done…"

Jen smiled and nodded, humoring her superior officer and role-model. Commander Rabb had told her the same thing, at least twice, this evening.

"Will do, Ma'am."

Harm waited for Jen to get inside headquarters and for Mac to start her car, before he pulled out and began the journey home, watching Mac's car following behind him, the whole way there.

OOOO

"Okay," Harm carried the sleeping little girl into Mattie's old bedroom in Jen's apartment, while letting Mac know, "Her pajamas are in the blue hold-all, in the bottom of the closet. I think she said they had The Little Mermaid on them…"

Mac smiled, giving Harm a quizzical look.

"What? She never stopped talking, all day long and we covered a lot of her favorite things…"

"Okay," Mac let it go, for the moment, as she went to retrieve them.

Harm carefully maneuvered the child in his arms, so Mac could gently undo the belt and unzip the back of her party dress. By slipping the pajama top over her head and pulling it down at the same time as she slipped the dress down and off the child's arms, Harm was saved too much awkwardness.

"Thanks for helping me out, here," Harm thanked her, obviously having the same thoughts as Mac, "I think I would have ended up putting her to bed in her clothes!"

Mac chuckled softly, as each of them slipped the floppy arm on their side through the pajama top.

As Harm lay Bianca back against him, Mac slipped the dress off her lower half and slipped the pajama bottoms on.

"There," Harm commented, "all done…Except for her teeth…Do you think it's okay to leave them, for tonight? I'll make sure she cleans them in the morning…"

"Yeah," Mac nodded, as she pulled back the bed-spread, while Harm lifted Bianca in and tucking her in snugly.

They paused for a minute of two, just watching the child as she burrowed in, further and dropped deeper into sleep.

"Do you suppose we'll ever have this?" Harm spoke up quietly, though Mac had no problem hearing it.

Her head whipped round to lock gaze with his.

There was more than one way he could have meant that, but from his look she knew he only meant one thing.

"You could," she pretended to misunderstand him, "And I'm sure you're going to be very happy, Harm. I've always known you'd make a great Dad…"

"That's not what I meant and you know it," he wasn't swallowing her act.

"I know what you meant," her voice was sharper, but she kept the volume controlled so that she didn't disturb the child sleeping just yards from where they stood, "but you also understand perfectly well what I told you, at the Admiral's dining out."

"Oh, I understand 'less than five per cent,' Mac…" Harm nodded, "but I also understand something about those terms that you don't seem to."

"And what is that?" Mac snapped, quietly.

"That they aren't 'zero per cent'," Harm emphasized, "It's not a sure thing, Mac. There are options open to us. I've had some time to read up on it…"

"And how do you know what I want?" Mac asked testily.

"I know that you want to be a mother," Harm contested, "and that five years ago you agreed to share a child with me. Now, in those last five years, no matter how much things have changed and evolved between us, not once have you said to me that you've changed your mind. You've been through a lot lately and I understand that, but we don't have to go through with this now. I understand that you need time, but I meant what I said to you last weekend. It's not important so much how this happens. What is most important to me is that this happens with you."

"What if I can't give you that, Harm?" Mac now allowed all her fears and emotions to show in her teary eyes. Her hands were shaking and she felt just a hair's breadth from losing her strong facade completely.

"Then at least I've got one of the two pre-requisites," Harm gently took her face in his hands, "A life with you was always the more important point…"

As the tears finally splashed down her cheeks, he lowered his face to hers, taking her lips in a soul-deep kiss.

OOOO


	4. Chapter 4

OOOO

Epilogue

12 months later…

"AJ, look who's here!" Harriet shouted to her son.

All the children stopped what they were doing and AJ took off running when he saw Jade

Miller come in through the front gate, her niece beside her, holding her hand.

"Hey 'anca! Come and hit the piñata with us!" AJ quickly came and swept her away, taking her to play where the rest of the kids in his class were patiently waiting for them.

Jade made her way to where the rest of the grown-ups were setting out the buffet, greeting the whole JAG crew like the close friends they had become.

"She looks like she's doing great!" Harm exclaimed, as he took in the out-going little girl who had been so introverted, just twelve months ago.

"When she comes over, I'll get her to tell you about her latest report card," Jade grinned and Harm could tell that it must be very good news.

"When did she get her hair cut?" Mac smiled, coming over and giving Jade a one-armed hug, her mind never away from their precious bundle in the other.

"She's been on at me for weeks," Jade shook her head in amusement, "and at first I didn't think she was going to like it, after having it long for such a long time…but she loves it. She wanted to go for something a little shorter and more grown up, but I convinced her that a short bob would work better."

"She's gorgeous!" Mac smiled, watching her take her turn to be blindfolded and take a few swings with the foam-padded bat, "She's getting so grown up."

"She is!" Jade sighed, thinking how her brother, Bianca's Dad had said the same thing, when he came home from his last deployment, "She's doing great in school and at home, considering everything she's been through in the last year. Her teachers love her…And what about this little boy?"

She turned to where Mac was holding month-old Jake, happily receiving him from his Mommy.

"He's hit the 14 pound marker," Harm told her proudly, "Looks like he's going to be a little bruiser!"

"Uncle Harm! Aunt Mac!" came an excited, high-pitch squeal, across the yard.

"Hey!" Harm greeted Bianca, as she ran into his arms, "We wondered when you were going to notice we were here!"

"Keep your voice down when you're around the baby, Bianca," Jade reminded her, softly, "Remember how we talked about how delicate babies' little ears are, Sweetie?"

"Oh, yeah…Sorry," she apologized, getting passed from Harm to Mac.

It was not long before she was back playing with the rest of the kids, as if there had been no separation at all, the past couple of months.

Not long before Social Services had shown up on that Monday morning, a year ago, Harm had received a call from Bianca's Father. He had been informed of the disappearance of his ex-wife, but because he was serving aboard an aircraft carrier in the Mediterranean, it would be some time before he could get home to his child. He told Harm that he had placed a call to his older sister in Baltimore and that she was on her way to pick up the child, whom she would care for until he could get there.

Sadly, there had been no trace found of Bianca's Mother, Petty Officer Tracy Monroe, since, but Bianca had found a happy home with Jade and her husband, a family services court judge and a captain in the Navy, respectively.

Her Father often had to go away on deployments, though he was hoping for a promotion to a position that would have him home all months of the year within the next six months.

As she took her baby boy back from Jade, Mac couldn't help but look over thankfully to the little girl who had inadvertently helped change her mind about pursuing what had turned out to be such an abundance of happiness with her sailor.

FIN

OOO


End file.
